Awalnya saya ingin membuat tulisan opini yang sedikit ilmiah dengan menyertakan penelitian-penelitian psikologi or whatever related to scientific research, turns out I got houseworks to do, so well, mungkin opini sederhana melalui emotional thought might be useful as well, mumpung lagi ada mood buat nulis.
Berawal dari dua buah organisasi nasional yang saya ikuti saat kuliah. Saya menyadari penuh betapa tingkat pendidikan di Indonesia memiliki gap kualitas yang cukup jauh. Beberapa indikator yang bisa kita lihat secara objektif adalah akreditasi dan jumlah lulusan yang diterima di lapangan pekerjaan bonafid, atau jumlah ‘orang sukses’ yang berasal dari lulusan universitas tersebut. Indikator subjektif yang bisa kita lihat adalah pola pikir. Saya tidak bilang bahwa lulusan universitas ternama semuanya memiliki pola pikir yang make sense dan sophisticated, but well, boleh saya bilang mereka cenderung berpikiran terbuka? Ini bisa saja bukan soal popularitas sekolahnya, simply karena sekolah tersebut ada di tengah kota dan mahasiswanya sudah banyak terpapar dengan banyak akses pendidikan dan budaya yang universitas di daerah tidak bisa dapat. Efek input juga berperan, sekolah yang sudah kepalang populer akan dikerubungi oleh pelajar-pelajar yang memang sedari awal sudah ‘bagus’. Yah, banyak faktornya. But my point is, the quality gap does exist.
Then come this pride of having a status of “graduates from great university”. Kita pun terjebak dalam penjara self-worth. Kita merasa lebih baik dari universitas ABCD. We boast our chest as we walk, duh.
Itu baru bicara soal nama sekolah. Bagaimana dengan pride akan tingkat pendidikan? Bagaimana dengan pride akan sebuah profesi pekerjaan?
I’m going to get to my point. Mari bicara soal profesi kesehatan. Profesi yang baru saya geluti kurang dari setahun, mungkin akan banyak bias opini di dalamnya karena saya masih anak bawang untuk urusan ini, but to write doesn’t have to wait to be experienced right? Hehe
Berawal dari komentar sederhana,
“Ah, yang lanjut sekolah Apoteker itu cuma yang punya duit aja” – well, for your information, yes sekolah profesi memang mahal. Satu semester bisa ada yang puluhan juta, apalagi sekolah swasta.
“Kerjaan Apoteker enak ya, cuma gitu doang” kata profkes x, --- well for your information, yes, ada beberapa kerjaan kita yang emang ‘cuma gitu doang’
“Kasian itu TTK (tenaga teknis kefarmasian) kerjaannya, capek banget” --- frankly speaking, saya akui memang capek. Selama orientasi 2 bulan saya bekerja seperti mereka, stressfull? Sangat. Ditambah dengan profkes x dan y yang terkesan “nyuruh2” dan complain mulu. Baper? Iya gue baper. Bapernya tuh kayak gini: “Lu siapa nyuruh2 gue? Lu bukan atasan gue woy!” hehe
dan komentar lainnya yang kalau ditulis jadi panjang kayak kereta.
Okol Vs Akal
Terkait pekerjaan. Ketika ada yang bilang “enak ya kerjaan lo gitu doang” saya cuma bisa tersenyum dan bilang “tuntutan kita memang belum besar karena pekerjaan kefarmasian di rumah sakit masih sangat berkembang (and that makes me so worthless)” and that’s true. Sampai akhirnya saya dimutasi ke ruangan lain dan melakukan banyak pekerjaan teknis yang bikin baper, haha. Gada lagi yang bilang “enak ya kerjaan lo gitu doang”, karena memang kerjaan saya agak bikin pusing (dan pekerjaan ini bisa jadi akan bertahan sampe saya usia 30-40 tahun karena carreer path farmasi klinis ga banyak). Still, I feel worthless because it just something that I didn’t expect I would do as a pharmacist. Expectation kills, I know.
Apa yang ada di pikiran saya saat itu adalah bagaimana saya bisa bekerja more into critical thinking rather than physical or technical thing. Dari segi pendidikan dan ranah pekerjaan pun basically makes sense. Ranah teknis adalah ranah teknisi atau orang lapangan, misalnya bagian operator atau service mesin di sebuah perusahaan menjadi tugas lulusan SMK Mesin atau Vokasi (cmiiw). Supervisornya, yang berpikir soal design, konsep dan sebagainya diarahkan pada lulusan S1 yang notabene saat kuliah diajarkan lebih pada konsep besar ketimbang teknis lapangan. Mungkin bahasa strukturnya adalah atasan dan bawahan, but lets say, kita bekerja memang sesuai ranahnya saja; self-worth kita masing-masing, harganya sama.
Seniority and Quality
Senioritas. Saya muak dengan istilah ini haha. Sesimpel ada yang beranggapan “kalau di jalan, yang muda harus nyapa duluan” aja saya kesal hahaha *lah w baper. Please, sopan santun doesnt mean the younger harus nunduk-nunduk sampe mentok lantai buat menghormati yang tua and then yang tua bisa pasang muka jutek dengan bibir mencong-mencong. Sorry to say, gue ga lagi ospek SMP atau SMA. Hehe, ini hiperbola biar lucu aja, you know what I mean lah :p
Senioritas juga menjadi ajang naik jabatan. Yang kerjanya sudah lama disekolahin duluan supaya grade naik jabatan jadi proper dan objektif, ga peduli mereka punya kemampuan dan potensi seperti apa. Tapi saya yakin, perusahaan pemerintah yang baik ga melulu melihat lama kerja, pasti ada indikator lainnya hehe
Bicara soal kualitas, saya tidak memungkiri bagaimana sekolah profesi tercinta kita ini dijadikan lahan bisnis. Konsumen mereka adalah para senior yang diharuskan melanjutkan sekolah namun apa daya kemampuan mereka sudah tidak mumpuni untuk bisa ke sekolah negeri dengan harga yang lebih terjangkau atau mendapatkan beasiswa prestasi. Ya gimana, saya aja yang masih fresh graduate mumet buat belajar lagi, bagaimana mereka yang sudah senior? Alhasil sekolah swasta dengan kualitas seadanya dan biaya mahal menjadi target mereka. Muncullah anggapan “yang lanjut sekolah yang punya duit aja (belum tentu kompeten- red)”. Still, mau apapun underlying motivationnya, mau bagaimanapun hasilnya, tingkat pendidikan masih dilihat sebagai indikator objektif untuk naik jabatan (mainly di perusahaan punya pemerintah, probably).
To me, it is good to have such objective indicator. Tinggal kitanya yang mau memanfaatkan kesempatan itu dengan baik atau tidak, dengan etika elegan atau dengan pride yang berlebihan hehe. Dan saya berdoa, semoga sekolah-sekolah profesi makin baik kualitasnya, jadi bisa membimbing mahasiswanya buat jadi lulusan yang oke pisan. Aamiin.
Kekeluargaan Vs Profesionalisme
Ada yang menarik dengan profesi saya ini. Apoteker bekerja tim dengan TTK atau panjangannya adalah Tenaga Teknis Kefarmasian yang dulu biasa orang sebut asisten apoteker. I like TTK better as a term karena pola mindsetnya akan berbeda, TTK akan berpikir bahwa mereka melakukan pekerjaan teknis rather than jadi an obvious subordinate-nya Apoteker (apapula istilah saya ini), which will create a better team work, hopefully. Lucuknya, ada banyak rumah sakit yang TTKnya diminta panggil Apoteker dengan sapaan Ibu dan Bapak (regardless their age) rather than calling out their names kaya di tempat kerja saya sekarang. Ada positif-negatifnya dari segi Psikologis. Dengan sapaan ibu-bapak menurut saya suasana professional jadi lebih terbangun, contoh kecilnya, Apoteker muda tidak segan untuk meminta tolong pada TTK senior sesuai kewenangannya. Positifnya panggil nama, kekeluargaan jadi lebih terbangun, gap atasan-bawahan jadi lebih minim. Nah negatifnya? Pikir sendiri aja ya hehe. Intinya, mau panggil nama, ibu-bapak, nenek-kakek, bro-sis, bebeb dsb, ketika bekerja tentu kita harus professional, jangan kebanyakan baper minta dihormati karena kita senior yang akhirnya merusak kinerja kita. Yet, kekeluargaan juga harus dibangun, because team work won’t work out well without comfort from each other hehe. Ngomong gampang emang hehe.
Back to my point, self-worth kita berharga sama ketika kita menunjukkan kinerja terbaik kita sesuai kewenangan yang seharusnya, regardless our age, our position, education level, etc etc.
Kolaborasi Interprofesi (the title is so lame, I know)
Saya sempet baper di awal kerja, kenapa? Pertama, secara struktur dan pekerjaan saya merasa ga sesuai dengan yang digadang-gadang permenkes, (tp sy masih belum berani bahas ini). Kedua, kok ya kesannya kerjaan saya jadi kaya bawahannya profkes x dan y, seenak udel banget nyuruh-nyuruh, atasan-bawahan yang baik aja kalo nyuruh pake etika, lah ini? Point kedua, saya tahu kenapa. Kalau kata Pak siapa ya lupa, Farmasi itu rantai terakhir pelayanan, jadi harus sabar-sabar kena complain dari berbagai arah, diteriakin minta ini itu dsb, karena instruksi dokter tidak akan terlaksana oleh perawat kalau farmasi belum memberi obat (ujungnya sebut nama profesinya juga lol).
Jadi ingat meme di Instagram, ada percakapan pasien dan farmasi, pasien complain “my medicine is only one kind, why it takes so long?” terus farmasinya blg “because youre not the only one living in this world” yah semacam itulah, kasarnya “yang berobat dan ngantri obat kan bukan elu doang” wkwk.
Memang setiap pekerjaan pasti ada baper-baper jenis begini, yang begini harus disikapi secara professional. Saya yakin setiap dari kita tidak suka direndahkan, dan manifestasi merendahkan orang lain bisa dilihat dari etika seseorang berkomunikasi. Jadi yuk sama-sama perbaiki etika kita berkomunikasi, simply dengan menyelipkan kata tolong dan maaf itu sudah menjadi kata ajaib yang akan membangun team work yang baik, ye gak? Secara struktur professional pada umumnya, setiap profesi kesehatan pada dasarnya bukan atasan dan bawahan, tapi saya aware, jenjang dan durasi pendidikan, jenis pekerjaan kita dan rantai pelayanan somehow membuat diri kita seakan lupa bahwa kita adalah partner kerja, jadi harus pandai-pandai menempatkan diri. Sama-sama belajar yah.
Organisasi Profesi, you’ll be my savior!
Saya sempat terlibat dalam keorganisasian mahasiswa kesehatan lingkup nasional. Saya melihat bagaimana tanpa disadari, arogansi profesi muncul dari setiap ormawa kesehatan. Tidak jauh berbeda, organisasi profesi pun demikian. Setiap dari mereka seolah bersaing untuk membela hak profesinya. Terkadang saya meragukan pembelaan hak dari masing-masing organisasi, apa iya hal yang mereka tuntut benar adalah hak meraka? Apa sudah cukup objektif dan sesuai dengan self-worth masing-masing profesi? Karena biasanya berujung pada tujuan insentif, remunerasi, dsb, yah intinya kesejahteraan dan pengakuan. Semua aja ingin diakui sebagai profesi yang punya daya tawar tinggi untuk dihormati dan digaji tinggi, huft. Kalau sudah turun ke ranah kebijakan begini saya masih butuh banyak belajar. Yaudah gausah bicara ini dulu, biarkan saja yang berkompeten bicara soal kebijakan masing-masing profesi, tugas saya sekarang adalah melaksanakan amanah dari kebijakan yang dibuat, menuntuk hak dan melaksanakan kewajiban dari aturan yang sudah ada (kalau mampu ya kasi saran dan kritik utk kebijakannya). Untukku dan yang di luar sana, semangat menuntut hak dan melaksanakan kewajiban!
EPILOG
Mungkin terkesan tulisan saya isinya cuma baper-baper ga jelas. But well, gini loh, saya tidak bicara soal pride karena sebuah tingkat pendidikan atau nama universitas saya atau nama profesi saya, saya bicara soal self-worth based on job domain and competence. Pride dan dignity adalah dua hal yang berbeda. We talk pride as boasting because we are more successful or better than others, I talk dignity; dignity doesn’t see success nor failure, our self-worth is doing the best we can do based on our authority, sesuai yang seharusnya, sesuai dengan amanah undang-undang, sesuai dengan sumpah jabatan profesi, jikapun tingkat pendidikan perlu dipertimbangkan in some context, yah sesuaikan pula dengan itu, dan tak lupa sesuai pula dengan potensi diri. Intinya adil, menempatkan sesuatu pada tempatnya. I am looking for my self-worth –which is to me, isn’t a sin- its an emotional incentive I should get as my job is impactful, therefore, it’s valuable. hehe
Tampilkan postingan dengan label psychology. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label psychology. Tampilkan semua postingan
Senin, 23 Juli 2018
Selasa, 05 Juli 2016
The judges are deciding! Hurry up before its too late!
A friend of mine shared this video of Khutbah by Nouman Ali Khan, a Muslim speaker that live in Dallas, Texas. Anyway, please read it through until finish! I know watching movie, sleeping, gossiping, or scrolling down Path, Instagram, or snapchating will be more interesting rather than reading through this, but please just give a little time for our mind to contemplate.
By the way, you can watch the video here if you want to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNC3y9rJI9c
Here’s pretty much a resume plus additional opinions.
Dalam video ini, beliau menjelaskan potongan ayat Surat Al-Hadid yang menceritakan mengenai apa yang terjadi di Hari Penghakiman (judgment day/yaumul akhir). The interesting part is that God does not compare the judgment day of a believer and disbeliever; instead, He compares believer and people who THINK that they are believer, orang-orang yang merasa bahwa mereka memiliki keyakinan, memiliki iman. I’m going to explain it in points so it’s easier to understand.
1. Pada ayat tersebut dijelaskan pada saat Hari Penghakiman, orang-orang yang memiliki keyakinan yang murni, ikhlas, dan tulus (we call it a believer that truly has a sincere faith) akan memiliki cahaya dari hati mereka dan dari tangan mereka. Cahaya ini akan digunakan sebagai obor penerang untuk berjalan menuju surga ketika mereka dibangkitkan. (In judgment day, everything is totally dark. The lights is vary, some people have very bright light, some people have dimmer light depends on how sincere the faith is, I guess)
2. While there are another group of people who does not have lights at all, ini lah sekumpulan orang yang merasa bahwa mereka memiliki iman, group of hypocrites. Orang-orang ini ketika dibangkitkan melihat dari kejauhan, cahaya-cahaya yang berjalan menuju surga. Then they scream out to the believers “wait for us! We need light, bring us with you!”
3. The believers replied “I’m not turning back, go get your own light, I’m heading to Jannah!” Karena sejatinya, di hari ini, seorang Ibu tidak akan peduli pada anaknya, seorang Kakak tidak akan peduli pada adiknya, you’re on your own business.
4. Ketika believer meminta orang-orang hipokrit ini untuk mencari cahaya sendiri, ini adalah kata-kata sarkas yang artinya meminta mereka kembali ke dunia untuk mendapatkan cahaya. You can’t get the light at the judgment day. Once you don’t have it, you won’t have it forever.
5. Para hipokrit tidak menyerah. Mereka mengejar cahaya tersebut, tapi Allah kemudian menurunkan sebuah dinding besar dan tinggi dengan satu pintu yang membatasi mereka, sementara dari belakang, hukuman mengejar mereka. Mereka berteriak “open up guys!! We used to be with you, we pray with you, we do goods with you, why are we not with you?!!” the very desperate screaming (please imagine ourselves in judgment day undergoing this, it must be torturing). Mereka sangat percaya diri bahwa dulu di dunia mereka termasuk dari orang-orang yang beriman, who have a sincere faith.
6. And the believer answers “yes you were with us in the world, but then you lose the light”. Apa yang membuat orang-orang hipokrit ini tidak memiliki cahaya untuk berjalan menuju Surga? People lose the light not in one night, it’s through a process.
What are the processes? It’s a spiral downward.
Step 1: YOU PUT YOURSELF IN FITNAH (TEMPTATION, TRIAL)
Kita terus menempatkan diri kita pada situasi di mana iman kita diuji. Situasi itu adalah lingkungan buruk. Some people may argue that as human being, it is necessary to blend with variety of people, to develop, to understand world from different point of views. Kemudian kita akan melakukan banyak justifikasi karena hati dan tubuh kita menyaru perlahan dengan lingkungan tanpa kita sadari bahwa banyak dosa yang kita lakukan. Justifikasi itu berkedok “well, we give benefits to them, we are doing dakwah though, I am not gonna be addicted, Im not gonna get the bad effects”. Padahal secara perlahan, kita membenarkan kebiasaan, jauh dari membiasakan kebenaran. Niat kita yang pada awalnya ingin mewarnai lingkungan, justru kita yang terwarnai. We’re not strong enough in holding our crayons. We think we are doing the right things.
Well frankly speaking, to me, yes it is necessary to mingle with any kind of people. Yes it is right that way of dakwah is a lot. But we have to know our capacity. How convincing our capacity to mingle with certain kind of people or certain kind of events? Seberapa kuatkah kita untuk bertahan dalam suatu lingkungan tanpa membuat kita berbelok? How sure are we that our hands are strong enough to hold the crayons?
Step 2: YOU KEEP PROCRASTINATING TO CHANGE
Kita telah sadar bahwa lingkungan kita buruk, then we promise that we are going to be away from that. We said “I am going to change, I promise, next week I’m going to change.” Or “I might be like this now, but by the time Im going home from Hajj, you watch, im gonna change.” Kita terus mengulur waktu hingga tak sadar uban telah bertengger di rambut kita, keriput telah menggerogoti wajah cantik kita, bahkan cacing-cacing telah memakan kita. Kita menunda, tak sadar kita menoleransi diri sendiri. We think we are doing the right things.
It’s not necessarily avoiding us to enjoy the process of hijrah. But we gotta take it seriously whenever we decide to change. Nikmati proses tanpa dengan sengaja memperlambatnya.
Step 3: YOU DOUBT ISLAM
This is the most interesting part for me. So what happen is people start to feel guilty when they realize that they have been procrastinating. Ketika manusia sudah sampai pada tahap ini, syaitan datang dan membisikkan manusia, “why you have to feel guilty? Islam should make you feel guilty, this is haram, that is haram, it is sin, everything is sins. You’re not sure that Islam is true, anyway? Why you have to follow God of Islam?” then yes, we start asking ourselves “How do I know Islam is right? How do I know that Qoran is true?” That doubting of Islam brings us to a spiral downward that cause us to disobey Islam. Comes the material desire instead of desire to go to Jannah. Kita lebih memilih mengejar kebahagian dunia yang sudah pasti terasa dibandingkan dengan kebahagiaan akhirat yang menurut kita belum jelas ada atau tidak, a false hope deceives us. We think we are doing the right things.
Well, to me, doubting an ideology is not a mistake. Adolescents normally somehow will undergo that kind of thing. James Marcia, a psychologist classifies Identity Statuses that I guess match this discussion though these aren’t necessarily related to specific topic:
• Identity Diffusion – the status in which the adolescent does not have a sense of having choices; he or she has not yet made (nor is attempting/willing to make) a commitment
• Identity Foreclosure – the status in which the adolescent seems willing to commit to some relevant roles, values, or goals for the future. Adolescents in this stage have not experienced an identity crisis. They tend to conform to the expectations of others regarding their future (e. g. allowing a parent to determine a career direction) As such, these individuals have not explored a range of options.
• Identity Moratorium – the status in which the adolescent is currently in a crisis, exploring various commitments and is ready to make choices, but has not made a commitment to these choices yet.
• Identity Achievement – the status in which adolescent has gone through an identity crisis and has made a commitment to a sense of identity (i.e. certain role or value) that he or she has chosen
(http://www.learning-theories.com/identity-status-theory-marcia.html)
Manusia ketika mempertanyakan kebenaran suatu ideologi, dapat berada di posisi Identity Moratorium, they would explore various commitments. But what happen is orang-orang yang meragukan Islam terkadang tak mau berusaha mencari kebenaran, ga ambil pusing, let me just enjoy my current life. Ada yang mungkin masih berada pada ID forclosure, memilih mengikuti mayoritas orang banyak atau mengikuti petuah yang diseniorkan (well pray a lot then, wish what we follow were a right track lol). Ada juga orang-orang yang mempertanyakan namun berdiskusi dengan orang yang sama-sama mempertanyakan dan kapasitasnya sama. Instead of asking the expert, people then make their own interpretation assuming that we are smart enough to understand stuffs. People are then becoming disbeliever; through a somewhat invisible process.
Then, this is why some people argue bahwa belajar agama itu penting. Belajar dengan orang yang lebih tahu dari kita untuk menghindari pemahaman-pemahaman yang salah.
###
Nouman Ali Khan kemudian bertanya: “where are you at?” di mana posisi kita? Apakah kita orang-orang yang menempatkan diri kita pada fitnah? Mengulur waktu untuk berubah? Atau meragukan Islam? yang pada akhirnya akan membuat kita menjadi hipokrit. Then the hypocrite’s position will be just the same as disbelievers.
We gotta know our capacity and our level of understanding, reevaluate our process of change, and search teachers to help us study to get out of confusion. The judges are deciding! Hurry up before its too late!
Remember Allah and we shall get the light.
#selfreminder #forustoremindeachother
By the way, you can watch the video here if you want to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNC3y9rJI9c
Here’s pretty much a resume plus additional opinions.
Dalam video ini, beliau menjelaskan potongan ayat Surat Al-Hadid yang menceritakan mengenai apa yang terjadi di Hari Penghakiman (judgment day/yaumul akhir). The interesting part is that God does not compare the judgment day of a believer and disbeliever; instead, He compares believer and people who THINK that they are believer, orang-orang yang merasa bahwa mereka memiliki keyakinan, memiliki iman. I’m going to explain it in points so it’s easier to understand.
1. Pada ayat tersebut dijelaskan pada saat Hari Penghakiman, orang-orang yang memiliki keyakinan yang murni, ikhlas, dan tulus (we call it a believer that truly has a sincere faith) akan memiliki cahaya dari hati mereka dan dari tangan mereka. Cahaya ini akan digunakan sebagai obor penerang untuk berjalan menuju surga ketika mereka dibangkitkan. (In judgment day, everything is totally dark. The lights is vary, some people have very bright light, some people have dimmer light depends on how sincere the faith is, I guess)
2. While there are another group of people who does not have lights at all, ini lah sekumpulan orang yang merasa bahwa mereka memiliki iman, group of hypocrites. Orang-orang ini ketika dibangkitkan melihat dari kejauhan, cahaya-cahaya yang berjalan menuju surga. Then they scream out to the believers “wait for us! We need light, bring us with you!”
3. The believers replied “I’m not turning back, go get your own light, I’m heading to Jannah!” Karena sejatinya, di hari ini, seorang Ibu tidak akan peduli pada anaknya, seorang Kakak tidak akan peduli pada adiknya, you’re on your own business.
4. Ketika believer meminta orang-orang hipokrit ini untuk mencari cahaya sendiri, ini adalah kata-kata sarkas yang artinya meminta mereka kembali ke dunia untuk mendapatkan cahaya. You can’t get the light at the judgment day. Once you don’t have it, you won’t have it forever.
5. Para hipokrit tidak menyerah. Mereka mengejar cahaya tersebut, tapi Allah kemudian menurunkan sebuah dinding besar dan tinggi dengan satu pintu yang membatasi mereka, sementara dari belakang, hukuman mengejar mereka. Mereka berteriak “open up guys!! We used to be with you, we pray with you, we do goods with you, why are we not with you?!!” the very desperate screaming (please imagine ourselves in judgment day undergoing this, it must be torturing). Mereka sangat percaya diri bahwa dulu di dunia mereka termasuk dari orang-orang yang beriman, who have a sincere faith.
6. And the believer answers “yes you were with us in the world, but then you lose the light”. Apa yang membuat orang-orang hipokrit ini tidak memiliki cahaya untuk berjalan menuju Surga? People lose the light not in one night, it’s through a process.
What are the processes? It’s a spiral downward.
Step 1: YOU PUT YOURSELF IN FITNAH (TEMPTATION, TRIAL)
Kita terus menempatkan diri kita pada situasi di mana iman kita diuji. Situasi itu adalah lingkungan buruk. Some people may argue that as human being, it is necessary to blend with variety of people, to develop, to understand world from different point of views. Kemudian kita akan melakukan banyak justifikasi karena hati dan tubuh kita menyaru perlahan dengan lingkungan tanpa kita sadari bahwa banyak dosa yang kita lakukan. Justifikasi itu berkedok “well, we give benefits to them, we are doing dakwah though, I am not gonna be addicted, Im not gonna get the bad effects”. Padahal secara perlahan, kita membenarkan kebiasaan, jauh dari membiasakan kebenaran. Niat kita yang pada awalnya ingin mewarnai lingkungan, justru kita yang terwarnai. We’re not strong enough in holding our crayons. We think we are doing the right things.
Well frankly speaking, to me, yes it is necessary to mingle with any kind of people. Yes it is right that way of dakwah is a lot. But we have to know our capacity. How convincing our capacity to mingle with certain kind of people or certain kind of events? Seberapa kuatkah kita untuk bertahan dalam suatu lingkungan tanpa membuat kita berbelok? How sure are we that our hands are strong enough to hold the crayons?
Step 2: YOU KEEP PROCRASTINATING TO CHANGE
Kita telah sadar bahwa lingkungan kita buruk, then we promise that we are going to be away from that. We said “I am going to change, I promise, next week I’m going to change.” Or “I might be like this now, but by the time Im going home from Hajj, you watch, im gonna change.” Kita terus mengulur waktu hingga tak sadar uban telah bertengger di rambut kita, keriput telah menggerogoti wajah cantik kita, bahkan cacing-cacing telah memakan kita. Kita menunda, tak sadar kita menoleransi diri sendiri. We think we are doing the right things.
It’s not necessarily avoiding us to enjoy the process of hijrah. But we gotta take it seriously whenever we decide to change. Nikmati proses tanpa dengan sengaja memperlambatnya.
Step 3: YOU DOUBT ISLAM
This is the most interesting part for me. So what happen is people start to feel guilty when they realize that they have been procrastinating. Ketika manusia sudah sampai pada tahap ini, syaitan datang dan membisikkan manusia, “why you have to feel guilty? Islam should make you feel guilty, this is haram, that is haram, it is sin, everything is sins. You’re not sure that Islam is true, anyway? Why you have to follow God of Islam?” then yes, we start asking ourselves “How do I know Islam is right? How do I know that Qoran is true?” That doubting of Islam brings us to a spiral downward that cause us to disobey Islam. Comes the material desire instead of desire to go to Jannah. Kita lebih memilih mengejar kebahagian dunia yang sudah pasti terasa dibandingkan dengan kebahagiaan akhirat yang menurut kita belum jelas ada atau tidak, a false hope deceives us. We think we are doing the right things.
Well, to me, doubting an ideology is not a mistake. Adolescents normally somehow will undergo that kind of thing. James Marcia, a psychologist classifies Identity Statuses that I guess match this discussion though these aren’t necessarily related to specific topic:
• Identity Diffusion – the status in which the adolescent does not have a sense of having choices; he or she has not yet made (nor is attempting/willing to make) a commitment
• Identity Foreclosure – the status in which the adolescent seems willing to commit to some relevant roles, values, or goals for the future. Adolescents in this stage have not experienced an identity crisis. They tend to conform to the expectations of others regarding their future (e. g. allowing a parent to determine a career direction) As such, these individuals have not explored a range of options.
• Identity Moratorium – the status in which the adolescent is currently in a crisis, exploring various commitments and is ready to make choices, but has not made a commitment to these choices yet.
• Identity Achievement – the status in which adolescent has gone through an identity crisis and has made a commitment to a sense of identity (i.e. certain role or value) that he or she has chosen
(http://www.learning-theories.com/identity-status-theory-marcia.html)
Manusia ketika mempertanyakan kebenaran suatu ideologi, dapat berada di posisi Identity Moratorium, they would explore various commitments. But what happen is orang-orang yang meragukan Islam terkadang tak mau berusaha mencari kebenaran, ga ambil pusing, let me just enjoy my current life. Ada yang mungkin masih berada pada ID forclosure, memilih mengikuti mayoritas orang banyak atau mengikuti petuah yang diseniorkan (well pray a lot then, wish what we follow were a right track lol). Ada juga orang-orang yang mempertanyakan namun berdiskusi dengan orang yang sama-sama mempertanyakan dan kapasitasnya sama. Instead of asking the expert, people then make their own interpretation assuming that we are smart enough to understand stuffs. People are then becoming disbeliever; through a somewhat invisible process.
Then, this is why some people argue bahwa belajar agama itu penting. Belajar dengan orang yang lebih tahu dari kita untuk menghindari pemahaman-pemahaman yang salah.
###
Nouman Ali Khan kemudian bertanya: “where are you at?” di mana posisi kita? Apakah kita orang-orang yang menempatkan diri kita pada fitnah? Mengulur waktu untuk berubah? Atau meragukan Islam? yang pada akhirnya akan membuat kita menjadi hipokrit. Then the hypocrite’s position will be just the same as disbelievers.
We gotta know our capacity and our level of understanding, reevaluate our process of change, and search teachers to help us study to get out of confusion. The judges are deciding! Hurry up before its too late!
Remember Allah and we shall get the light.
#selfreminder #forustoremindeachother
Sabtu, 07 Mei 2016
Social Media and Self Disclosure
Social Media addiction is a phenomenon. A lot of people have and use it. I admit it that I’m one of the social media active users among 72 million users in indonesia that pretty much feel the benefits and harms.
The impact delivered from a somewhat-person’s random posts in a social media may be a great deal for some even many people. Massive publications are created through shares or like buttons that instantly disseminate information unselectively; not only formal information from an official social media account, but also personal information from an individual. People including me utilize this technology also as a tool to express personal things. The information then may build assumption, prejudice, variety of personal perceptions, or the softer one is a decent knowledge regardless what the motives and purpose that the people try to either obviously showing it or instead hiding it.
Natalya Bazarova in her journal has conducted a research involving a group of students that are told to input their Facebook updates consist of status, wall post, and private message to a survey website. She seeks for the students’ motives behind their updates. The data shows that most of the updates relate to the reason of social validation and to develop a relationship. Social validation here means an approval or support seeking of a concept and relationship development aim to manage or maintain a relationship. Some updates also relate to the fact that people use social media to express thoughts and release pent up feelings. As an active user, I don’t use social media solely for one motive. I believe other people too. Here I’m focusing to the utilization of underlying purpose that whether unconsciously or not planted on humans’ brain when they use social media. It is self-disclosure.
Self-disclosure means to reveal personal information to others. In other words, motives that I told you in previous paragraph which are from Bazarova’s research are packaged in an action called self-disclosure in a social media. So, is it good to actually give personal information in a social media?
In 1955, Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham developed a tool called Johari Window to demonstrate the importance of self-disclosure by doing an open communication to build trusts. It contains of four quadrants that one of the quadrant says an open area which means that you know about yourself, so do other people; this area is encouraged to be widen. They believe that by telling our traits, skills, attitudes, and knowledge to people, trust between each other will improve because each of us know what to do when we face certain kind of condition with somebody. Frankly, I don’t reject the theory, but what happen if we openly share ourselves publicly through social media? Johari Window doesn’t tell us how if it applies in a virtual world where public is so much public. Does it improve trust?
Let’s take an example of Instagram (IG). I notice that people can make it private in the setting feature IG provides but let’s be honest that we see a lot of people bravely show the pictures publicly as if telling people “hey, this is me and my life, take a peek!”. Many users eventually become popular because of their pictures posted, whether it shows the beauty of girl faces, controversial pictures, or sensational one. We disclose ourselves through pictures. Without knowing the underlying motivation, we know that people are what they post. Some people will prefer a less public social media like Path when you need to add a person as a friend before taking a look at their posts. But what is the point when you know that the friends you have in a social media are no longer your inner circles? Is this kind of self-disclosure really healthy? Does it really build trust or all the way around?
Honesty and openness has come to people around the world, not only western society. Social media then somehow facilitate the openness. For introverts mainly, they probably more comfort to express thoughts and feelings –to be open- through writing rather than talking directly; they may feel less afraid of people’s comment when they post pictures to tell story rather than speaking out loud to people. Social media then become their friends; tumblr, blog, line, twitter, many more. In reality, introverts sometimes struggle to tell who they are unless it’s a deep conversation with a small group of people. To me, it is not a mistake. Yet, is this kind of ‘honesty’ really healthy when bias is actually present without others know? Does the person act the same way in real life like she/he writes or post virtually?
Extroverts also utilize the idea of virtual sharing with other motives rather than only feeling comfort. Self-disclosure aims to build trust, and also building motivation as a motivator says that people need to do self-branding to motivate, that probably many high achievers-extroverts and some introverts do this. But the thing is how far this self-disclosure really motivates people? Encourage people to do goods instead of making people keep comparing someone’s life that will create an unhealthy jealousy? How this self-disclosure really help each other build healthy environment instead of creating prejudices and stereotyping? Whether it’s a good or bad trait that we share in social media, how this self-disclosure is not seen and not done too much?
The underlying motivations that are classified by Bazarova in her journal more and less tell on how we manage our attitude toward social media. The motives include identity clarification, relation development, social validation, social control and resource gain, self-expression and relief of distress, information sharing to benefit others, and information storage and entertainment. Basically, trust that is expected from a self-disclosure surely depend on what information we share regardless the motives. The motives are basically humane but that doesn’t necessarily lead to a justification of all more detail derivative motives. People themselves who know how much the social media addiction harm them and others; they actually know when they have used social media too much, substantially and technically.
Everyone knows, too much is never good.
#selfreminder
The impact delivered from a somewhat-person’s random posts in a social media may be a great deal for some even many people. Massive publications are created through shares or like buttons that instantly disseminate information unselectively; not only formal information from an official social media account, but also personal information from an individual. People including me utilize this technology also as a tool to express personal things. The information then may build assumption, prejudice, variety of personal perceptions, or the softer one is a decent knowledge regardless what the motives and purpose that the people try to either obviously showing it or instead hiding it.
Natalya Bazarova in her journal has conducted a research involving a group of students that are told to input their Facebook updates consist of status, wall post, and private message to a survey website. She seeks for the students’ motives behind their updates. The data shows that most of the updates relate to the reason of social validation and to develop a relationship. Social validation here means an approval or support seeking of a concept and relationship development aim to manage or maintain a relationship. Some updates also relate to the fact that people use social media to express thoughts and release pent up feelings. As an active user, I don’t use social media solely for one motive. I believe other people too. Here I’m focusing to the utilization of underlying purpose that whether unconsciously or not planted on humans’ brain when they use social media. It is self-disclosure.
Self-disclosure means to reveal personal information to others. In other words, motives that I told you in previous paragraph which are from Bazarova’s research are packaged in an action called self-disclosure in a social media. So, is it good to actually give personal information in a social media?
In 1955, Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham developed a tool called Johari Window to demonstrate the importance of self-disclosure by doing an open communication to build trusts. It contains of four quadrants that one of the quadrant says an open area which means that you know about yourself, so do other people; this area is encouraged to be widen. They believe that by telling our traits, skills, attitudes, and knowledge to people, trust between each other will improve because each of us know what to do when we face certain kind of condition with somebody. Frankly, I don’t reject the theory, but what happen if we openly share ourselves publicly through social media? Johari Window doesn’t tell us how if it applies in a virtual world where public is so much public. Does it improve trust?
Let’s take an example of Instagram (IG). I notice that people can make it private in the setting feature IG provides but let’s be honest that we see a lot of people bravely show the pictures publicly as if telling people “hey, this is me and my life, take a peek!”. Many users eventually become popular because of their pictures posted, whether it shows the beauty of girl faces, controversial pictures, or sensational one. We disclose ourselves through pictures. Without knowing the underlying motivation, we know that people are what they post. Some people will prefer a less public social media like Path when you need to add a person as a friend before taking a look at their posts. But what is the point when you know that the friends you have in a social media are no longer your inner circles? Is this kind of self-disclosure really healthy? Does it really build trust or all the way around?
Honesty and openness has come to people around the world, not only western society. Social media then somehow facilitate the openness. For introverts mainly, they probably more comfort to express thoughts and feelings –to be open- through writing rather than talking directly; they may feel less afraid of people’s comment when they post pictures to tell story rather than speaking out loud to people. Social media then become their friends; tumblr, blog, line, twitter, many more. In reality, introverts sometimes struggle to tell who they are unless it’s a deep conversation with a small group of people. To me, it is not a mistake. Yet, is this kind of ‘honesty’ really healthy when bias is actually present without others know? Does the person act the same way in real life like she/he writes or post virtually?
Extroverts also utilize the idea of virtual sharing with other motives rather than only feeling comfort. Self-disclosure aims to build trust, and also building motivation as a motivator says that people need to do self-branding to motivate, that probably many high achievers-extroverts and some introverts do this. But the thing is how far this self-disclosure really motivates people? Encourage people to do goods instead of making people keep comparing someone’s life that will create an unhealthy jealousy? How this self-disclosure really help each other build healthy environment instead of creating prejudices and stereotyping? Whether it’s a good or bad trait that we share in social media, how this self-disclosure is not seen and not done too much?
The underlying motivations that are classified by Bazarova in her journal more and less tell on how we manage our attitude toward social media. The motives include identity clarification, relation development, social validation, social control and resource gain, self-expression and relief of distress, information sharing to benefit others, and information storage and entertainment. Basically, trust that is expected from a self-disclosure surely depend on what information we share regardless the motives. The motives are basically humane but that doesn’t necessarily lead to a justification of all more detail derivative motives. People themselves who know how much the social media addiction harm them and others; they actually know when they have used social media too much, substantially and technically.
Everyone knows, too much is never good.
#selfreminder
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