"scarf human" (krik)

i just noticed it. that being a "scarf human" (read: obvious-Muslim) here not that bad but not that going-well.

im in Texas..so immigrants are mm..u know.. everywhere (im not only talking about Hispanic, i mean like..immigrant-ssss)n i guess Southern US got more immigrants.

So..in my school itself, we have quite many middle-eastern-er, so guess what??? You're right!we got some Muslims here. and there are like 5 "scarf-humans" including me in school, if im not mistaken. I WAS SO HAPPY knowing that. but no longer happy right now. cz i dont really get along with them,dk why.

my point is, it just so happen that Americans in Texas, especially in Houston, get used to see scarf-humans around. thats the good thing.

but still.

something like people-expectation-about-muslims(scarf-human)-are-conservative-in-the-way-of-their-life (im not sayin that it is a stereotype, cz 'conservative' in their point of view is like "covered,and much limitations of freedom" which is true)are happening.

people keep asking me about my have-to-ness (maksa gila) in wearing my scarf, long pants, n long sleeve (hijab). i say "yes i do".

that limitation of clothing, honestly, start bothering me (im honest, okay). i feel weird when im in a PARTY and start to dance in the disco lightspot (ahaaa) which i never and wont do it. i feel awkward whenever i have a kind of performing that require something short, a tank top, cocktail dress, etc -which i will do soon for choir performance- and i'd be the only one that covered, like covered, all the way all over my body except my face. and people's eyes start to say "uuww look at that". well well well i know it probably only my (-)feeling and (-)thinking.. but i AM think-ING about it haha. something different is the first thing that get attracted by eyes, rite? (probably not, if that 'differentthing' is ME haha)

but alhamdulillah...my faith still tight me, eventhough just a small hug, not a big embrace, but at least, im not really outside the line, im "Waiting Inside the Line"..im not a girl that "Party in the USA" then Shalat in Indonesia..i know i feel "Half Alive" cz im not full-devout-muslim, but at least, im still be able to "Pray" and say to God that "Im Yours", guide me, dont put me outside Your line.
PS. maksa bgt gue nyambungin kalimat pake lagu

Insya Allah, this thing that on my head...will never taken off ;)

smile~