Minggu, 27 Maret 2011

Sekolah

Okay. Gue bakal nulis in Bahasa cz gue lg kesel bgt, susah kalo pake English hahaha.

Sekolah disini buat perasaan gue mix banget. Kalo dibilang gue suka atau nggak, i cant tell. Tapi Friday is my fav day. you know...after school, get home, laying on the bed, forget HOMEWORKS for a moment! and i hate sunday.......cz after sunday is MONDAY! entah karena gue kebawa sm tmn2 gue yg notabennya mereka gak suka Monday and like Weekend, mungkin juga,..yah rata2nya anak sekolah lhaa.

kadang buat bangun tidur early itu susah banget. apalagi Monday, tarik nafas dalam..siap menghadapi sekolah aaa. haha. lebay.

ah well. kadang gue pikir. gue harus cari lebih byk kegiatan di sekolah. masa satu tahun gue exchange disini cuma buat do homeworks? nooooaaahhh. tp u know gue mikir juga, klo gue byk2 kegiatan di sekolah, PR gue terlantar..nilai gue jelek, dan entah kenapa GUE GABISA IGNORE HOMEWORKS. kayaknya NERD-NESS udah ada ada di tubuh gue dr lahir. *lebay* gue bukan anak pintar/jenius yg dg blink aja gue bisa do math or physic. tp gue akui gue termasuk anak rajin yg melakukan tugas sekolah (PR) se-perfect yg gue bisa. (klo ga bisa gue nyontek eventually he)

gue sering mikir, apa yg buat PR gue banyak? apa emg sekolah gue krn GPAnya lumayan besar jd termasuk sekolah fav yg PRnya banyak? apa karena gue ambil kelas2 yg emg PRnya suppose to be a lot? apa karena gue junior yg emg tiap sekolah junior itu hardest year? atau karena gue TERLALU RAJIN??

you know what. i feel nerd. really. i wasnt that nerd in Indonesia.
kalo gue bandingin sm ke-12 exchange students di sekolah gue, gue itu yg plg peduli sama sekolah. i mean.. I DO HOMEWORKS YOU KNOW! and THEY DONT! I WRITE NOTES! and THEY DONT! nilai gue cemerlang (ga maksud sombong, tp kenyataan) and mereka ga bagus2 amat. I feel nerd.

satu hal yg buat otak gue selalu mikir "PR GUE BANYAK" adalah karena kebiasaan gue dulu di Indo kalo dpt PR susah.. selalu CHEAT! disini, PR gak teralu susah, cuma BANYAK! dan sekalinya dpt yg susah...pikiran gue selalu AHHH PR INI TERALLAU BANYAK, pdahal aslinya sedikit cuma krn susah jd mikirnya BANYAK. hahaha.

tapi emg banyak kok.
okay, gue punya 7 kelas. dan sistem sekolah gue, 7 kelas itu setiap hari sama. rata2 tiap PR due besoknya.
1: Gitar, ini sih santai..PR plg seminggu sekali.
2: US History, actually PR di US Hist itu OPTIONAL, tapi gue ttp kerjain, kenapa? krn klo gak do it, TEST gue ancur banget. serius deh. jd gue kerjain. dan setiap hari selalu ada PR dan tugas paket wajib!!! gue di reguler lho! bukan AP! zzzz *emosi* im glad gurunya gak ngebosenin, @ least i like US history.
3: Biology, kelas yg satu ini bikin gue bingung. entah gue mesti menyesal/gak buat take ini kelas. awalnya boseennnnnn bgt, too easy! (realita) tp makin kesini..getting harder. apa ya ada yg aneh di kelas ini, i dont like it. i already talked about this in the previous posts. PRnya 3x seminggu lha rata2..
4: Algebra, ini kelas bikin gue stres, karena PRnya setiap hari. GAMPANG (kdg agak susah sih di graphing) tapi BANYAK. bikin kesel. -.-" kdg gue butuh 2 jam cuma buat do MATH HW.
5: Choir, gue tau di kelas ini gak pernah ada PR, itu bagusnya, tapi semenjak kejadian gue kena marah si guru sampe bawa2 ke AFS turun tangan.. bikin gue agak sensi sm si gurunya, gue sadar ni guru baik banget tapi strict-ruler dan gue gabisa ngerasain rasa toleran dr dia. gue pgn banget teriak "IM exchange student, i have another tasks beside do everything about school school school, im learning culture, im learning english aaa"
6: English, actually PRnya gak terlalu banyak, tapi krn gue lemah untuk digest english literature, buat gue dpt PR T.T, ya googling lha biar ngerti buku ini buku itu, re-read buku lha.. *sigh* dan usaha gue gak sia2 sih, i have 98 in Literature, haha. tp kdg bikin kesel deh tugas2nya T.T
7: Japanese, PR tiap hari tp biasanya gampang, kecuali KATAKANA. ini PR bikin gue kesel, nemu satu word susah banget, tp sekalinya ketemu bikin gue ketawa hahaha. abisnya aneh2 aja kadang dr katakana ke englishnya jauh haha.

oh well. intinya PR itu selalu ada everyday. dan TEST. setiap Selasa itu Quiz/Test US hist, setiap kamis Test Algebra, Setiap Jumat test/quiz Bio. -.-"

akhir first semester, gue pernah janji: gue mau coba untuk gak peduli sama PR dan Test tapi nyatanya gak pernah bisa.

sbenernya kalo gue santai, semua itu sebenernya sedikit dan gampang. tp krena gue orgnya cepet panik dan stress everything look huge. satu hal lagi, guru2 gue (kecuali guru choir) they like me! (bukan sombong tapi realita hahaha) i mean, gue gak enak aja..kalo tiba2 grade gue turun krn gue gak doing HW haha -.-"

oh well. idk.

satu hal yg gue gak suka juga, sekolah over at 3.30 -.- terus langsung pulang ke rumah doing homeworkssss (kecuali kamis choir rehearsal), tau2 uda besok..aaa
itulah gue gak suka Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Thursday lumayanlah setidaknya gue ada kegiatan after school dan PR algebra tiap kamis PR online dan biasanya ga terlau susah. Yg pasti gue suka Lunch Time hahaha. kalo gak kumpul Club ya Lunch brg fellows haha. best time.

best best time itu emg weekend. dimana gue bisa main sepuas gue...dan menghabiskan uang (ini gak bagus), tapi asik. haha. walopun kadang transportasi menghambat kegiatan weekend gue, at least bisa lha nonton movie cuma butuh 6 menit naik mobil, hostmom selalu gak keberatan haha. at any rate, i love weekend deh.

gue tahu, im suppose to like school. well i do. but if u compare it with weekend, i prefer weekend :) but u know, if u get rid of homeworks i believe im gonna looovvve school XD

cao.

Rabu, 23 Maret 2011

Friends

(re-post from fb notes, i wrote this post when i just got in US, cz "somebody" was BUSY :ppppp)
Firstly, Sorry for writing a very common notes title or even d matters.

Secondly, this note i dedicate to u who ever told me about what 'Gum Friendship' is.

Thirdly, i'm not good in English, sorry if i write something in 'wierd way'

haha krik~



ok. I still remember when they said, "friendship is like a gum, you chew it, chew it, and when you lost d taste, u throw it away" again, sorry if it's too common to be heard. But at that time, what i thought was: when we need friend to help us, we will be together with her/him and when our friend already did their job for us, we're going away.

so what about it? -.-"

it seems as bad thing eh? sounds like we would tied and hug our friends if we want something from them.



but how if we are Violet Beauregarde? a character in "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory", who chew her gums and put them in her neck/ear or whataver and then chew them again? cool. BFF? not really. she throw them away eventually after several days.



or..

Friendship is like blanket/sweater. we wear our sweaters and stay under blanket because it's winter. But summer comes, oo we never use sweaters and blankets then.



or..(sorry it's pretty nasty ha)

friendship is like peeing

everybody can see it,

laugh at it,

but only us who can feel the warmth



but, nothing is everlasting? yeah



but you know what?

analogies are just analogies.

often, they don't give us a clear definition. it's depend on how we interprete them. Let's do this,



we may assume our friends are gums, but we throw them away is not because we don't need them. It's true we want something from our friends. We won't making friends if we have nothing to do with them. But what matter is how we say 'Thank you' to them, we welcome them to help us and we welcome them if they need our help. "Throw" can be mean we HAVE TO go to other Friends because we HAVE TO do something with them based on what we need. A sick person won't be go to a lawyer. Instead, he's going to a doctor. But he gives d doctor money as a THANKS GIVING.



we may assume friends are blanket/sweater. But a short and a tank top also our friends. We still put our sweater in our cupboard, drawer, bureau or whataver, though. we won't use a short in winter cz it's too cold. A friend will not 'torture' you.



or we can assume friendship is not like peeing, friends to friends are suppose to feel the warmth together, on both side.



When we say to our friends "ooo you are busy! u never hang out with me again! u never phone me! u just TOO BUSY!" well, we suppose to look our friends situation. it maybe there are so many people who need MORE our friends than us (at that time). we can't judge them as what we think BEFORE we know WHY our friends are rarely to phone us. They just need time to give their attention to other people, as they never literally forgeting us. Friends to friends will still remembering each other, will still helping each other as could as possible, will always SMILE, say thanks each other, everlasting as time would pass and die. Insya Allah :)


BESTFRIENDS


BESTFRIENDS


BESTFRIENDS


BESTFRIENDS


BESTFRIENDS

Kamis, 17 Maret 2011

for my rival

I LOVE YOU ***** but I HATE YOU AS BAD AS I LOVE YOU :PPPPP

probably you're not counting me as a rival anymore, but those years were awesome and honored to compete with you, i admit, you won over me. and..mm..you deserve it, i guess.

(HOPE YOU READ THIS SILLY POST!! HAHA)

~~~~ahahhahaha~~~~

green-eyed (sigh sigh sigh)

People have their own lifes. Different each others.
Life. Thing that is so common people talk about. From time to time, from Jamestown until Levittown, from World War One until Vietnam War, from Dust Bowl until Tsunami Hit Japan, whatsoever. Before and after all of those, Life still and always exist.

They need sacrifices. I think this one is different.

Period to period, the form of sacrifices is changing. Eons ago, people might used other people to be sacrificed supposely for villagers better life. To ask God, hey God, we sent you a beuatiful woman, please receive our sacrifice, please. IF we can do it in this period -which we could- we are primitive. Yeah, everybody knows it.

Now, let us think.
What does sacrifice mean? What is it for? And does it have something to do with Life? no doubt. We do know this kind of thing. We have known it.

Why is it so hard to sacrifice? Why people once were real easy to kill human for better life while humans today even can't let 5 bucks 'fly' to a hobo for better life? or homeless people? or orphans?

no, my point is not that.

Why is it hard to sacrifice our stubborness and our jealousy, for better life? I suppose that every humankind has all happiness, we just sharing to another people. One is smart-er; one is pretty-er; one is rich-er; one is religious-er; one is lucky-er; one is more*(smart, pretty, rich, lucky, and religious). There's no one stupid, i guess. So mmm, maybe we were smart, but our friend is smarter, so we look stupid?

Why is it easy to be jealous? Not everyone undergoes it. But I do. Im jealous to everyone who can resist theirselves toward jealousy, who can defend from sword without shield, who can survive in a thick snow without furycoat, who can stand on their own feet, who can climb mountain without rope, who can do everything that other can't do, who have everything that other people don't.

Why is it easy to wear a mask? im expert to wear a good mask but smile. It's hard to make a fake smile. seriously. if i dont like people, i'd rather not smiling to them than make a fake smile. But it's easy to say, "Oh it's okay" eventhough it's not okay. Why feeling bad is like haunt me.. why it's hard to slap people, like literally slap them! Instead, i just 'petting' them.

Why is it so hard to leave homeworks? To not doing that? (im serious) Why is it so hard to not study for tests? I think i know for this questions. Cz i wanna be smart as other people are. I wanna get compliment as other people do. I dont wanna be weak, i dont wanna left behind. That's not good. I believe it's not.

I really wanna sacrifice my jealousy and my feeling-bad-so-people-can-accept-me temper. Go away. Just fall down the cliff. Go..
God, please receive my sacrifice, i dont mean to give my bad tempers to you, i just ask you to throw it away, please -,-

Selasa, 15 Maret 2011

i never say that i dont wanna go home; anyway, I love my mom :)

i miss my family so badly. i miss my friends. and i miss indonesian foods!!!

if my AFS-YES friends around US-Europe, they happily say "I LOVE US(or europe), I LOVE MY HOSTFAM, I DONT WANNA GO HOME" etc etc. well, i DO love US, i DO love my hostmom, but im not gonna say that i dont wanna go home. i really do.

many good things im experiencing here that not in indonesia. it's awesome. i frankly say USA is awesome. Texas is awesome. My school is awesome. My life here is awesome. and i love my hostmom. She just so nice. im really really really glad i didnt move to another family. i do believe now that God really save the best for the last. i didnt know who my hostfam was until my departure day. and it was unexpected, im really happy to get mom like her. i love my mom :) and i love umi too, of course :))

but i wont say that i dont wanna go home. no, i wont.

i realize everything here is going good. im doing a lot of recreational, cultural, and volunteering much much much waayyyy moreee than in indonesia. but feeling like saying : i wanna stay here. i believe its not gonna happen. he. i dont know. or it just not happening ....yet? i dont think so :p

Senin, 14 Maret 2011

i definitely love DC, but Texas is way better for a home :)

4 days in Washington DC, finally i felt like winteeeerrr!! there's no snow though, but the trees didnt have leaves hahaha at least that what's suppose to be happening in winter, not like in Texas, 4 seasons, feels like everything same but temperature changing xD (not that much)

big challange for finally i chose to go with mom to DC, cz school and teacher are suck (sorry). they 'indirectly' didnt allow me to go, but i was going anyway..and it was worth it :)

we slept over in Hilton Hotel, i went to AFS conference (just a bit) it was fun, cultural learning is made as interesting as they could! and they made it, it was pretty good.

anyway
I LOVE DC AND VIRGINIA!
many pedestrians, hectic town, old buildings, fresh air (not hot), felt like winter, many us-history-things, love it!












i definitely love DC, but Texas (houston) is way better for a home :)

no snow= going somewhere easyly
average temperature (not too hot (except summer), not too cold)
many ethnics= learn other cultures besides Americans
houston is a a big city, but not a hectic city.. traffic is controllable
well, houston is definitely not a Recreation Center haha
but it's a HOME :)



Rabu, 09 Maret 2011

i just knew that this feeling called SUPERMAD !

really. i dont need privilage, but i do need tolerant. i really mad, mad, mad, mad, super mad...i prefer somebody who act like whole-strict-hot-tempered-blahblahblah-BAD rather than acting like nice-strict-kind-bad-whatever-good-and-bad-like-wearing-a-mask..<-- teenager galau

Kamis, 03 Maret 2011

Diary vs Twitter

I got my first diary (in US) on my first day in US, a journal book actually. A YES journal book. We're expected to write on it about our year in US. But well, mine is still empty hahaha.

I got my second diary book on my first day in Texas, from my liaison, with a horse picture on the cover, just like..you know..Texas.
i started to write on it in the first week or for a couple weeks, i dont remember.
i loved to write my feelings and something that happened to me. but when school started, i shifted on my homeworks hahaha, though i knew i had some times to write, but idk, it just shifted to other things that i prefered to do, like made a fantasy LOL. ha

I got my third diary book from my hostmom as one of the Christmast gifts. you probably have guessed im not writing on it haha. yeah it's still empty.

I told mom im not really into diary book <-- LOL. i mean i just cant stand on it, sooner or later i'll get bored of it. I told her too i got one from my liaison and i stopped to write. You probably have guessed what she said, as the post title says: "Write on diary is important, you'll show it to your children, it's different with blogging or something, you have it, you keep it, it's ur handwriting, it's not for public ...u'll learn something from what u've done"

i know she's right.

you know what, cz of that, i'll keep thinking about what i've done or what i've been through for 18 years and i didnt write them. They passed by..went away..no traces..no signs. wait, i have pictures :) that what i was thinking, but..mm..maybe pictures are not enough.

the good thing i like diary much is cz it's private, no one will see if we keep it neatly, it's like "we're not showing off", not like Facebook or blog, everything looks like public.

I know good things of social networking. yall've known it. but sometimes, i feel like.."no, why did i write that? no" i mean now i feel things that are supposed to be private, personal..it shows up on public, everyone can see.. like twitter. I hate twitter but i like twitter..*slap* i had many tweets like thousandssss but i deleted them cz i was thinking mostly were personal, people are not suppose to know or people..sometimes they dont careeeeeee what you tweeted -,-"

aahh sometimes by tweeting i feel relieve ..people know what i feel..sometimes they asked me or something. twitter is so tempting when im mad or upset. but ACTUALLY i shouldnt have done that. my feelings are personal. i know that. i mean..look.. people in twitter are not really our close-best-trusted people. you know what i mean..come on.

i wanna write on diary but it never works for a long time -.- anddd it wont be. i guess. haha